“Two condoms were walking down the street. They passed a gay bar and one looks at the other and says ‘hey want to go inside and get shit faced?’”
“Why can’t miss piggy count to seventy? Because every time she gets to 69 she get a little frog in her throat.”
1st Daughter:”Dad, I am a lesbian”
Dad; “Oh okay!”
2nd Daughter: “I’m a lesbian too…”
Dad: “Jesus Christ, does any one in this family love dicks?”
Son: “I do.”
Officer: “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?”
Soldier: “Sure, buddy.”
Officer: “That’s no way to address an officer! Now let’s try it again!”
Officer: “Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?”
Soldier: “No, SIR!”
Married men do not live longer than single men, it just feels that way.
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him.